Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Date Day! Sherlock Holmes
In the past, John and I rarely had date nights. We'd talk about doing something together, but actually making plans often eluded us. We'd go out occasionally, but not with any regularity, and when we did go out, John was often preoccupied with thoughts of what was being left undone at the farm. This made him irritable, and that would ruin the date for me. I often came home unhappy, but he never knew it.
Obviously, this was one of the issues straining our marriage the last few years. Actually, it was the most important issue straining our marriage.
John is a wonderful, hard working man. He takes his responsibility to me very seriously, but his way to express his feelings for me is to work, produce, and provide. He couldn't quite understand what I meant when I talked about nurturing each other and the relationship. I was beating my head against a brick wall with that one.
John has always been work-focused. He will never say he is retired. His company is still on the books, though not fully active. He's still always looking for clients and jobs. He's a brilliant man, with great ideas, incredible things that no one else has thought of or can do. He still has dreams to accomplish much more. I absolutely love that about him! Here on the farm, John works all day and well past dark. There's a lot to do, and frankly, only he can do a lot of it, since we can't afford to hire someone. I can't get him to slow down. I can't get him to take it easy. And therein is the problem in our marriage. If he's always working, he's not setting aside time for me. And watching television from 9-11 p.m., doesn't count!
So, anyway, this year, we are attempting to change this. John is still working hard every day, but we have determined together to have a date day at least once a month. All that head-banging finally broke a tiny hole in that brick wall, and my beloved is starting to understand that it's important for a couple to spend time together, nurturing the relationship, as well as each other.
Starting this new year wit this new commitment to nurturing, today we went to see a movie. Our dates will probably always be a movie, and sometimes, the date will include dinner, but not today. Today we had popcorn and sodas, and watched Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. It was a great sequel to the previous Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr., who not only has become the iconic Holmes, but gets better and better with age! And Jude Law is a perfect match as Dr. Watson!
I have to say, seeing Sherlock Holmes portrayed as a type of action-figure is pretty weird, but Downey pulls it off quite well. If you like thrillers or action films, or Jude Law, or Robert Downey, Jr., I recommend this film. If you've seen it, tell me what you thought!