On the Road Again

Road trips are something I have always loved and looked forward to. As a child, family vacations were rare, but they always involved long distance travel to visit relatives I barely knew. The travel, the sight of new places along the way, and strangely familiar people at the end of the drive were always stimulating to my imagination and my sense of adventure. From my 20s, through my 30s, I was always on the road. I was single, with a flexible schedule, and the one most free to move about, so I was the one who traveled to visit others, family and friends scattered about. And I loved it!

I'd leave from western North Carolina, out on the road no later than 4 a.m. most times, and be at my parents' beach home in time for breakfast, or half-way across the state of Tennessee by sunup, on my way to Missouri to visit my sister and her family. Long hours on the road never deterred me. They excited me as I counted down the hours until I'd reach my destination, mentally marking the now familiar landmarks and favorite stops along the way! Singly focused on my destination, my travel was always planned for efficiency of time, as few stops as possible, and certainly, there was no meandering along the way, stopping at this place and that to shop (of all things)!

In those days before cell phones and GPS, I traveled on the prayer that my car would not break down somewhere far from home. Of course it did however, often enough that I stopped stressing over the chance of a breakdown, and learned how to cope with it if and when it happened! Somehow, I managed to get past those scary moments and reach my destination with the help of angels, good samaritans, kind auto store owners who trusted me to mail them a check, and one time, three CB buddies who didn't have anything better to do than rescue a damsel in distress on the interstate a half hour before sundown.

In the old days, if I was traveling to an unfamiliar place, I studied the road maps and wrote each and every step of the trip on 3"x5" note cards that I taped to the steering wheel, where they were available at a glance. As prepared as I always hoped I was, there would inevitably be a glitch that would have my stomach in knots, if only for a few anxious moments along the way.

Today, we travel with GPS systems that plan every step of our journey for us, and keep us informed as to how long it will take us to get there. Just when I think I may have missed a turn or gone too far, a soft, feminine voice I call "The Lady of Directions," speaks up through my phone to gently reassure me that the left turn I need to make is still a half-mile away, or that I have 106 more miles to travel before I reach the exit I need to take. This certainly takes the angst out of a journey that might involve more than a straight shot down a single road!

So this morning my father and I bid farewell to John, all the dogs, and the pig, and left home at 8:45, heading first to a nearby Bojangles to share a leisurely breakfast before we hopped on the interstate and headed for North Carolina to visit my niece and her children; my father's granddaughter and great-grandchildren. Dad Googled our trip yesterday, and his mapping of our journey lined up precisely with the travel itinerary The Lady of Directions had determined. So, with an electronic guide and a paper backup in hand, I felt we were good to go, with no unexpected surprises. I was surprisingly relaxed heading out on our journey.

Traveling up the interstate at 70 mph (never as much as 80 mph!), we made really good time! Then, for some reason, The Lady of Directions and the paper backup agreed that we needed to get off the interstate and head up a little two-lane road through many, many miles of small towns and rural roadside wilderness. Trusting all sources of pre-determined travel routes, I didn't question our departure from the interstate, nor did I realize that travel efficiency had just been tossed out the window. But I did realize rather quickly that our detour from "a straight shot" down the interstate had become charming, and nostalgic, and delightful! Dad and I marveled at the fresh sight of virgin land, where man had not stamped his progressive trademark of crowded civilization: strip malls, gas stations, and used car lots. We rode mostly in silence, admiring the countryside, and we shared a few travel stories.

A 1929 English Austin, similar to one Uncle Marvin owned

My dad told me the story about his Uncle Marvin, who, in 1932, moved his entire family from Roseboro, NC to Columbia, SC in an English Austin automobile. Uncle Marvin and his wife, Rose, sat up front. Children, Monroe and Louise sat in the back, and the family's belongings were stuffed in amongst them all. Unfortunately, this left no room for James, aged 14, who had to ride the entire trip standing on the back bumper, holding on through the back passenger windows. What an adventure that must have been for James, traveling that distance at probably no more than 35 mph, hanging onto the back of a car! Do you think anybody could get away with that now? Do you think they'd want to? I can imagine James (long gone now), somewhere in his elderly years, still telling his version of this story to grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and others who probably stared at him in disbelief, to his great amusement!

Miles and miles, and miles

Even I can remember family vacations down these two lane roads, through one small town after another, traveling, most of the time, at speeds that didn't top 45 mph. Roads like these were the main thoroughfare across America before the interstate road system was implemented. A distance that now takes an hour or two up an interstate used to be a full day's journey or more on these old roads. And it was on these old roads that the phrase "See America First" was immortalized.

From one small town to another, the traveler would meander past mom & pop two-pump gas stations, where you could stop for 15 cent gas and a freshly made bologna sandwich, past huge, never-ending fields of cotton, tobacco, or corn, past sky high half-naked pines distinctly Carolina, past ancient barns teetering on rock foundations, past rivers whose names sing of their Native American heritage, past fields of cows, past sandy ditches, past children watching for cars and waving as they passed, grinning and laughing as they stared and pointed at license plates and marveled over where the cars had traveled from to now be there passing them.

The US Interstate Road System

Today we drove maybe 50 or 60 miles without seeing a big name gas station, a strip mall, a big name grocery store, or a Wal-Mart. We drove through miles and miles of roadside wilderness, and small towns that still held some of that old world charm, with names that made me chuckle, or struggle to pronounce them, or wonder who named them, and why. Places like Camden, Cassatt, Bethune, McBee, Meddendorf, Cheraw, Hoffman, Pinebluff, and Southern Pines. And we drove forever without seeing another car! Honestly, not a single car!

And then we knew we were approaching civilization. Traffic was picking up. We went from being the only car on the road to two, then four. Then there were six cars on the road, and eight! It was becoming a traffic jam!

And then, before we knew it, we were in Sanford. The Lady of Directions had guided us well, and delivered us into the parking lot of yet another Bojangles, where Dad and I feasted on spicy chicken and dirty rice before we found a motel and called Kathleen to let her know we had made it into town.

Time to rest now, and save our energies for tomorrow, for time to be spent with family, with history, with love, and all, in the unending merciful grace and love of God.

Love and Marriage, Young and Old

There were terrible storms last night. Thunder rolled over the farm for hours, and lightning flashed constantly throughout the night while the wind roared. The dogs, always distressed during storms, were much more so last night. Once we let them in, it took them quite a while to calm down, but heavy claps of thunder still kept them skittish. John was up most of the night, dealing with the dogs, power outages, and other issues that arose. And the rain came down in heavy bucketfuls. You'd have thought there would be a pretty deep swimming pool in our yard this morning. But as the sun came up, it was evident that there was no damage,
none at all! We are so thankful to God for His mercies!

Although I was upset to hear about the storm damage and loss of life in north Georgia and the mid-west, I was relieved to know that our little farm had come through the night safely. I was also happy to see that the rain had ceased. Today was too important a day to be dampened by rain and storms. Today was the first anniversary of my niece's wedding four years ago, and a huge reception was planned!

Katie Mae and Ando were married on February 29, 2008 ~ leap day of leap year! They exchanged vows at the courthouse, with only their parents attending. Well, although Ando's parents made it, my sister took a few wrong turns four years ago, and missed the ceremony all-together.

Katie Mae & Andy (Ando)

Fast forward to now, the first February 29 (Wednesday) since 2008. Katie Mae and Ando, with the help of good friends, pulled together a beautiful reception held this afternoon at Red Top Mountain State Park in northern Georgia to celebrate their first official wedding anniversary! The theme was purple and white, and it was everything a wedding reception should be: family and friends gathered together, lots of toasts, lots of laughter, music, and dancing. Katie's friends, all beautiful, young women, and all dressed to perfection, would have served as her bridesmaids in a proper wedding ceremony. Today they served the crowd as hostesses, decorating the hall, setting the tables, preparing the food, organizing the events, and doing it all with gleaming smiles and wearing high heels!

Chantal with her son, Gentry, and Katie Mae. I have no idea who the other guy is!

My sister, mother of the bride, wept constantly, she was so full of joy!

Katie Mae and her PopPop

I cried a few times too, thinking of my own hard-won marital happiness, and my father's lost happiness. I miss my mother every day, but never more than I did today when my father stood to toast his granddaughter and her husband and wished them as many years of happiness as he and my mother had known together. That was 62 years for my mother and father.

The two-hour drive to Red Top Mountain this morning was pleasant and peaceful after a night of storms. The afternoon spent with family, friends, and new friends was fun, entertaining, and sentimental.

I danced with my husband today. We don't get to do that very often. My hips ached before the dance was over, but in spite of the pain I danced, and I let John twirl me around the floor. That's the part we love, the twirling, with a flourish! We kissed while we were on the dance floor too. The majority of the people at the reception were young, in their twenties, and although I would kiss my husband in front of anyone, I felt it was very important to kiss him in front of these young people, so they could see love and romance in the old. So they could see, and maybe understand, that being old can still be about having fun, being happy, being sexy, and being in love.

The guests gather

I didn't do a very good job of taking pictures today. Most of mine were blurry or dark, or blurry and dark.There was a professional photographer at the reception, so when the photos become available and get shared with me, I will share some of them with you.

In the meantime, don't forget to relax and enjoy your life. Find something to laugh about, and someone to laugh with. Celebrate something with champagne, and most important of all, kiss your Beloved in public! You'll make everybody jealous!

Tossing the bouquet

Claiming the garter

Date Day! Sherlock Holmes

In the past, John and I rarely had date nights. We'd talk about doing something together, but actually making plans often eluded us. We'd go out occasionally, but not with any regularity, and when we did go out, John was often preoccupied with thoughts of what was being left undone at the farm. This made him irritable, and that would ruin the date for me. I often came home unhappy, but he never knew it.

Obviously, this was one of the issues straining our marriage the last few years. Actually, it was the most important issue straining our marriage.

John is a wonderful, hard working man. He takes his responsibility to me very seriously, but his way to express his feelings for me is to work, produce, and provide. He couldn't quite understand what I meant when I talked about nurturing each other and the relationship. I was beating my head against a brick wall with that one.

John has always been work-focused. He will never say he is retired. His company is still on the books, though not fully active. He's still always looking for clients and jobs. He's a brilliant man, with great ideas, incredible things that no one else has thought of or can do. He still has dreams to accomplish much more. I absolutely love that about him! Here on the farm, John works all day and well past dark. There's a lot to do, and frankly, only he can do a lot of it, since we can't afford to hire someone. I can't get him to slow down. I can't get him to take it easy. And therein is the problem in our marriage. If he's always working, he's not setting aside time for me. And watching television from 9-11 p.m., doesn't count!

So, anyway, this year, we are attempting to change this. John is still working hard every day, but we have determined together to have a date day at least once a month. All that head-banging finally broke a tiny hole in that brick wall, and my beloved is starting to understand that it's important for a couple to spend time together, nurturing the relationship, as well as each other.

Starting this new year wit this new commitment to nurturing, today we went to see a movie. Our dates will probably always be a movie, and sometimes, the date will include dinner, but not today. Today we had popcorn and sodas, and watched Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. It was a great sequel to the previous Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr., who not only has become the iconic Holmes, but gets better and better with age! And Jude Law is a perfect match as Dr. Watson!

I have to say, seeing Sherlock Holmes portrayed as a type of action-figure is pretty weird, but Downey pulls it off quite well. If you like thrillers or action films, or Jude Law, or Robert Downey, Jr., I recommend this film. If you've seen it, tell me what you thought!

Dance As If You're Falling On Your Face

Well, I got absolutely nothing done yesterday. I'd pushed hard the day before, getting a lot done, and had no energy left for yesterday. But this morning, however, I was up and out early once more. I moved the chicken kite to a new area, fed the chickens, and sat for a few minutes watching the birds do their morning stretching and dancing. Then it was off to the garden.

This morning I planted 14 yellow squash (straightneck and crookneck), 2 okra, and a horde of peppers! I didn't get the chance to count, but I thought there were at least 24 jalapenos, 2 giant jalapenos, 3 red hot cherry peppers, 3 pimiento, 12 sweet banana, and 18 green bell. I also planted 2 Japenese vining cucumbers at the base of an 8 foot tall garden windmill. The next time out, I'll add several pickling cukes I've grown from seed. It will be great to watch them climb that windmill.

Everything was going really well this morning. My energy level seemed fine, the temperature was comfortable, there was a cool breeze, and the sun wasn't too intense. So I wanted to keep working. I took two short breaks to make sure I didn't over-do it, sitting in the rocker sipping a cold drink while I watched the chickens and petted the dogs who were gathered around my feet.

After my second break, just before I was going to finish planting the peppers, I decided to clean up some of the trash that had accumulated in and around the garden. You know, those plastic collars around peat pots and the multi-plant trays, empty soil and mulch bags, and other stuff (I've got to get a trash can out there). John had left a number of very long pvc pipes on the driveway near the garden gate. He's going to cut them into lengths and use them as tomato stakes. They'd been there for a couple of days, but they hadn't been in my way before this morning.

Well, wouldn't you know it, while trying to step over them, my short legs didn't reach and I ended up standing on them. Because they are round, and not flat, my "standing" s udde nly became a dance as they rolled and I tried to stay upright. It was an ugly dance, but it didn't last long. I was on my face, on the pavement in a heartbeat. I got up with two scraped knees, a scraped elbow, and a tearful sense of defeat. I really thought I was going to get the rest of the veggies planted this morning.

I went in the house and John cleaned me up. I was upset, and it came out in anger. I spent the next 30 minutes screaming inappropriately about the pipes and the trash, and the unfinished work, etc. I hate that about myself. I got my temper under control a long, long time ago; but the "perfect storm" of my hormones rushing to the edge of the menopausal cliff like lemmings, unearthed in me a new level of uncontrolability several years ago, and my generously patient husband was frequently the target of my upset.

Actually, my tirade this morning was nothing compared to what I could have done two years ago. So maybe that's a sign that the storm is almost over.

I returned to the garden and finished planting the peppers, but my knees, which don't do kneeling well anyway, were hurting too much to do anything more. I'll have to finish planting the rest of the veggies another day.

Overall, I'm very happy with how the garden is coming, and I hope we will have a large, healthy harvest. I'm looking forward to canning lots of jalapenos for John, enjoying stuffed bell peppers (a rare treat usually), freezing and drying lots of squash, pickling jars and jars of cucumbers, eating-freezing-and-canning tons of tomatoes, and slicing open ice cold watermelon and cantaloupe when summer reaches it's hottest point in August.

Once my anger subsided, I quickly apologized to John for my outburst. Good husband that he is, he had already forgiven me. My knees will heal long before my heart heals and I forgive myself for letting my temper get away from me once again, however. For the past several years, my hormones seem to have more control of me than I do, and I don't like that.

Angry and irritable is not who I am. It's not who I've spent my life becoming; but this someone I sometimes don't know, this angry me, that snaps so quickly and so brutally at the one person who loves me so dearly... I hope she will be gone soon. I hope the person I once loved being will have a chance to return and finish out the last of my days on this earth, held in the loving, secure embrace of my husband, whom I do dearly love. I hope she will return and bring back the peace I used to know, and the joy I always felt in living each day in the grace and blessedness of knowing Christ, the center and source of my sole reason for being.

We're off to a local, popular fish camp tonight to have dinner with my mom and dad. John has eaten there since childhood, and has gone on and on about it since we wed. Tonight will be the first time for me and my folks. I hear they specialize in catfish, and my dad can certainly enjoy a plateful of catfish! My mom will want shrimp, I'm sure. Me? I think I'm in the mood for oysters! Ooooh!