On the Garden Path at 5~Acre Farm: Date Day! Sherlock Holmes

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Date Day! Sherlock Holmes

In the past, John and I rarely had date nights. We'd talk about doing something together, but actually making plans often eluded us. We'd go out occasionally, but not with any regularity, and when we did go out, John was often preoccupied with thoughts of what was being left undone at the farm. This made him irritable, and that would ruin the date for me. I often came home unhappy, but he never knew it.

Obviously, this was one of the issues straining our marriage the last few years. Actually, it was the most important issue straining our marriage.

John is a wonderful, hard working man. He takes his responsibility to me very seriously, but his way to express his feelings for me is to work, produce, and provide. He couldn't quite understand what I meant when I talked about nurturing each other and the relationship. I was beating my head against a brick wall with that one.

John has always been work-focused. He will never say he is retired. His company is still on the books, though not fully active. He's still always looking for clients and jobs. He's a brilliant man, with great ideas, incredible things that no one else has thought of or can do. He still has dreams to accomplish much more. I absolutely love that about him! Here on the farm, John works all day and well past dark. There's a lot to do, and frankly, only he can do a lot of it, since we can't afford to hire someone. I can't get him to slow down. I can't get him to take it easy. And therein is the problem in our marriage. If he's always working, he's not setting aside time for me. And watching television from 9-11 p.m., doesn't count!

So, anyway, this year, we are attempting to change this. John is still working hard every day, but we have determined together to have a date day at least once a month. All that head-banging finally broke a tiny hole in that brick wall, and my beloved is starting to understand that it's important for a couple to spend time together, nurturing the relationship, as well as each other.

Starting this new year wit this new commitment to nurturing, today we went to see a movie. Our dates will probably always be a movie, and sometimes, the date will include dinner, but not today. Today we had popcorn and sodas, and watched Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. It was a great sequel to the previous Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr., who not only has become the iconic Holmes, but gets better and better with age! And Jude Law is a perfect match as Dr. Watson!

I have to say, seeing Sherlock Holmes portrayed as a type of action-figure is pretty weird, but Downey pulls it off quite well. If you like thrillers or action films, or Jude Law, or Robert Downey, Jr., I recommend this film. If you've seen it, tell me what you thought!

No comments:

Post a Comment

John and Michelle, and 5 Acre Farm

How We Came To Be

John was born and raised in Georgia by parents who lived incredible lives of their own, and passed on to John a rich family history from both sides. He was a die hard Boy Scout, and later, spent 17 years as a Troop Leader. He earned a dual Agriculture/Agricultural Engineering degree at ABAC in Tipton, where he also started the college's radio station. After college, John served on nuclear submarines in the Navy, where he once saved the lives of his shipmates, and, rumor has it, did many incredible things in the service of our country. He married and had a family, and after the Navy, worked briefly with the EPA before opening his own HVAC-Refrigeration company. John was inventive as a child, and that carried over into everything in his life. He is a fixer of severe mechanical problems, and an inventor of all kinds of things that improve on or simplify existing machinery, equipment, and ideas. His inventions are unique, and some of them may some day aide humanity, save lives, and save our planet if we can get the right people to listen.

My dad was career Army. I was born in France, and introduced, at a very young age, to the Virginia countryside, where we raised rabbits and chickens. After dad retired, we moved to North Carolina, his home state, where we spent many years on the coast, near Wilmington. Here, we had a garden, raised cows, pigs, chickens, and ducks, and fished commercially. Our freezer was always full of fresh Spot and shrimp, and oyster roasts were a weekly event! As a young adult I lived with my family in the mountains south of Asheville. Here too we had a garden, raised cows, pigs, chickens, and ducks, as well as geese and peacocks. I worked for many years with an arts council, Christian organizations, and other non-profits. I helped train missionaries, researched/wrote grants, produced professional documents, edited newsletters, and wrote a lot of publicity materials. I already had two Associate degrees, but in my late 30s I finally completed an undergraduate degree in English/Art History. For 20 years I was active in community theater, sang solos with a community choir, and danced with a show choir. Treasured memories! I moved to Georgia in late 1998, and married my first husband in 2002. I was 45. Eighteen months later, I was widowed.

John and I first met in 2000. After I was widowed, and John was divorced, we found each other again. Of like minds, spirits, and goals, our hearts came together quickly, and we married in 2005. Each of us has undergone Elijah House training, and we were both ordained into ministry in 2006. I have been a Christian counselor and prayer warrior for probably 30 years. John and I live to put God first in our lives, and in our dreams for this small piece of earth of which we are the caretakers.

We call our place "5 Acre Farm." John's father took this barren, overworked field from a larger parcel of farmland in the mid-70s. He fenced off about three-quarters of an acre for the house, and added plants, flowers, and trees. Elsewhere, he transformed the property through years of hard work, adding an apple orchard, peach trees, pears, two fig orchards, grape vines, and a greenhouse. John and I have been trying to continue his father's work on this land, adding to it with our own hopes and dreams, and our late-in-life efforts. Not a day goes by that I don't feel great respect for John's father, for the man he was, for the work he did here, and gratitude for the bounty we reap because of his hard work.

John and I are in our 50s, just starting life together, but with age and health trying to work against us. We aren't ready to sit down and take it easy. We have a goal to become self-sufficient by growing our own food (meat and vegetables), and getting off the grid. The challenges we face in doing this are age, health, and finances. John's inventiveness is being strongly applied, as is my gift for budget stretching and frugality. Our strength? The love we have for each other, and the trust that we are working inside the will of God.

One of the things we ask ourselves now and then is this: "Is it worth it?" I never had children. John's son has set his own path with family and career. There does not seem to be anyone we can leave this property to who will continue the work and the dream; one of John's grandchildren, perhaps, but they are very young right now, and do not yet notice or care.

So, is it worth it (all the work and expense) if there is every chance this land will end up in the hands of developers after we're gone? Well, our answer to that question so far is always "Yes, it's worth it." It's worth it to us, because of what we are accomplishing here in our lifetime. It's worth it because what we grow here we share with family, with friends, and with our community. And not just what we grow, but our faith and philosophy, our hopes and dreams, and our very desire to leave at least our little part of the world better than it was when we found it. We are living - consciously, and deliberately - a lifestyle that expresses who we are and what we believe. Does anybody care? Why don't read our blog, leave a comment, and let us know.